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Please read my story-and help my question

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Please read my story-and help my question

Post by potatoinmyanus on Sun Jun 30, 2013 12:05 am

It looks like this site isn't really active but ill post this anyway because I don't know where else to post.
I was raised a single child of a single mother, who was catholic. We went to church not a lot, usually just on holidays, and I went through the whole communion, confession, initiation things.
When I was thirteen o became disillusioned from the Roman Catholic cult. I think it was because I was very much aware of the evils and reality of this world, and did tons of research on contradictions in the bible.
I had been severely depressed and auicidal and admitted to a psychiatric facility after I tried to hang myself which was a nightmare and eventually shut down due to conditions. I prayed to Jewsus so much. But I prayed for forgiveness which I know now is bullshit. I was apologizing for being bipolar, something I couldn't help. I cried so much.
I was admitted the next month to another facility. I had been writing a book which is now published and out of curiosity looked up satanism for a thing in the book and came across JOS. It all made sense. I had always since I was a little girl was interested in the occult, and I was fascinated I made my astral temple.
Before I knew what satan looked like I had a dream of a man with long blonde hair who held me an told me it would be okay. I woke up crying. It was so beautiful. I ended up telling my mother about satan and she was upset, and I tried to explain to he what I meant an how it wasn't devil worship, and that night we cried together, because I still couldn't let go of the xian dogma, but I did. In that February over my 14th birthday I was admitted to another facility. I was drawing a picture of Satan and he said "is that father"? Without knowing my beliefs. I had a dream that night I signed a paper with my blood dedicating my soul to satan, which I eventually did.
I wasn't stable on my meds yet and tore the bible in my house an thee it in a drain whilst on a mania. I was angry at my old faith. My mom didn't agree with my beliefs, but we didn't argue.
I knew father would be okay with me exploring other options. I'm 16 now and experimented with Wicca Hinduism Thelma and Buddhism. But still I feel a calling to satan.
Will he take me back? I have never been happier in my life. I'm stable on meds. I was thinking about writing a letter to my mom saying satan never really left. Because I feel him with me. I want him to talk to me but I'm insure how. I know it's right but I need advice. I apologize for my English, it is not my first language. Please reply soon.

potatoinmyanus

Posts : 1
Join date : 2013-06-29

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Re: Please read my story-and help my question

Post by demoness on Tue Jul 30, 2013 7:39 am

well if you feel satan is there for you, then so be it. im so glad though that your mother never verbally abused you just because you are not of her faith. see im not of any type of religion just because im neutral. When your neutral, your soul is, and when your soul is, then your whole nature becomes that as well. a demon told me that. he is my friend, and his name is bael, and plus, im also a channeling medium, which is the strongest type of medium. but all im saying is, no matter what someone says, no matter what type of religion they are, if they say something mean to you just because you're different....ignore them. what they are saying is really pointless and they can just go suck it. I love you  
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demoness

Posts : 1
Join date : 2013-07-30
Age : 19
Location : ohio

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